KMC Eagles News

End of Season Party = EPIC

The food was great...the beer was great...the Bistro took great care of us...the Eagles flocked with over 70 showing up to celebrate the end of another GREAT season!

Retirement of #28 - Scott Zwiers:

As some of the Eagles know, we are losing a long time pivotal piece in this great hockey organization.

After much discussion, we have decided that Scott Zwier's contributions to this hockey family warranted him the greatest honor we could possibly give him by retiring his number, #28. His hockey resume more than shows that he is more than deserving of this great honor.

Scott "Scotty" Zwiers is only the second Eagle to have his number retired only behind our legendary former Eagles President, Todd Poynter. We definitely caught Scotty off guard with the prestigious honor and he was extremely humbled.

We all hope that he will be able to return to our family shortly in the future. To the right is what is inscribed on his plaque.

Player Awards:

We gave out 25 EPIC awards this year.

Eagles 3 Awards

• The Beach Ball Award (1st Oak Leaf Cluster) - Gabriel "BJ" Bjorkman - For allowing the 12 year old girls to score on him. Way to go!
• The Golden Visor Award - Ludwig von Schweinfurth - For taking the brunt of the abuse as our "Leading Scorer".
• The Woman Beater Award - Nick Lombardi - Because the only time he can score a hat trick is against the women's team.
• Safety Award - Todd "Mud Nuts" Lutz - For going above and beyond by utilizing only the safest bicycle helmet on the ice.
• Pink Award - Heather Cohen - Because no one makes hockey look more girly with all the pink gear.
• The Lord of the Rings Award - Jared "Wade" Grandon - For having a haircut like a Hobbit.

Eagles 2 Awards

• Any Excuse Not to Play Award - Jimmy Parrish - Because there is no way any person can be injured that many times.
• Angry Lawyer Award - Ryan Reed - Because you are proof that you can get away with whatever you want on the ice.
• Silent, but Deadly Award - Chris Wurst - For being the quietest goon on the ice who silently brawls and lays people out.
• Firework Meister Award - Serge Palin - For nearly going deaf and blowing off your hand during your New Years party.
• World's Best Beer Award - Alex Miller - For brewing an extremely tasty, "I need another one" beverage.
• No Pants Party Award - Cameron Gerlich - Apparently Elyse Curtis and Tabitha Shelly didn't get the invite. (Garmisch story)

Eagles 1 Awards

• Bird Cage Dangler Award - Shane Saum - Because there is nothing we can make fun of on you since you lost your teeth last year.
• The Iron Testicle Award - Justin Bunton - For proving you can do more with less.
• The Golden Gloves Award - Brandon Martinez - For beating the crap out of the guy who two-shotted you.
• The Hero Award - Tim "Duff" Duffy - True leader on/off the ice, lassos six kids, has a civil war helmet...all while over 50 years old.
• The OJ Simpson Award - Nate "Q" Quirt - Because all the evidence and witnesses show you laid out that player, but you still deny it.
• Undefeated Goalie Award - Gabriel "BJ" Bjorkman - Because you are on the only Eagles 1 goalie to win all your games this season. 1-0!
• The Grumpy Cat Award - Glenn Bowersox - For always looking pissed off and angry at the world. It's OK to smile!
• Sniper Award - Mark Aube - Because you can shoot the puck on target...perfectly through an office window.

President's Awards

• Deadliest Spouse Award - Brittany "Bri-Mar" Martinez, Eagles 1 Spouse - For picking a fight with either the other team or their fans...every game.
• The Floppy Shot Award - Thomas Holmen, Eagles 2 Coach - Eat some meat, drink some milk, gain some muscles...
• Best Goal Celebration - Leigh Gowie, Eagles 1 Coach - Because no one can pull off the classic "Nyitray" better than you!
• The One Man Show Award - Craig Domko, Eagles 3 Coach - For consistently refusing to pass the puck...Gay Porn Hard!
• Ken Robinson Fan Club Award - Collin Keller, Eagles Vice President - Because you just love the guy soooo much!

Raffles:

We raffled off some prizes for our Eagles here were the winners.

• Eagles Hoodie - Brandyn Shelly
• Eagles Hoodie - Tom Holmen
• Eagles Lederhosen Jersey - Tom Holmen
• Full Season Fees Waived - Tom Holmen

We did have random people pulling the raffle tickets as much as it looks rigged. Tom proudly shouted, "That's why you drop 10 euro for raffle tickets!"